Do you know how it feels being betrayed? Do you know how it feels to be angry at someone not knowing how to diffuse the anger? Do you know how heavy it feels to carry the grudges around not able to let go?
I do. I know how it feels being betrayed. Somehow rather, I am a magnet to betrayers. They are attracted to me, like the south pole is attracted to the north. They seem to stick on, suck dry and say bye-bye. Like leeches. But leeches are the better creatures. At least they suck on your blood and consume it for their being. Betrayers suck on your blood and smear it all over other people and tell them it's you who did the dirty job. Betrayers want to make themselves look good. And get the fingers pointed at you.
But there must be a reason why I am a magnet. And that I want to know. What do I do wrong, where must I change, what must I do, how do I do it. How do I un-magnet myself. And be able to tell between the leeches and the betrayers. Am I a mean person that these are forms of paybacks? Or am I too trusting and too giving that they take me for a fool? I want to know because I need to be a better person. To be able to defend myself from being hurt over and over again, so that I don't feel that I never learn.
:(
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