Memory Non Grata

Tonight the flood gate was opened.

A distant, sad memory was mentioned and I found myself lost in melancholy.

Some 17 years back, in this very house, two young but eager couple started out on their lives. They had a month-old baby girl, who was the epicenter of their dream.

But life was hard for the couple. The husband had just quit his job to pursue his dream of having his own business, while the wife just became the victim of the economic downturn. When other young ones their age was trying to live the dream that they had upon graduation, this couple had to face the difficulties of their own making.

No income, but big dreams.

The house was gloomy, and empty. It reeked of spores and dampness. It was dark, it had no life, it was bare.

The couple survived daily on curry puff, bought for 20 sen a piece, 5 pieces at a time. And that was it. That was breakfast, that was lunch, that was dinner.

Once the wife's mother came to visit and handed her RM50 to buy rice.

The wife was sad, but she stood by her husband and stood tall by his dreams. She stood tall of supporting his need to prove himself worthy, despite she herself could have run back to her parent's and escape the difficult life.

That distant memory, at that very instant, pricked me like a thousand needles.

Tears slowly welled up, and one drop made it thru.

It was a difficult time, which I chose to forget. It was a difficult time, which I chose to not use as a lesson in life. It was a difficult time, but none as difficult nor as complicated as it is now.

On Letting Go...

Suddenly it dawned to me that I have to let go...

I have to... and I must.

I have to let life takes its own course. And to trust that that with lots of love and dua, the Greater Power will not let us down.

Not an easy feat, but I would rather lepaskan than get myself hurt along the way.

As though I havent been hurt enough already.

Budaya Compare-Mengompare

Omaigawddd tolonglah!

Whatsapp penuh dengan pertanyaan "How did your daughter do? Anak I dapat bla bla bla".

Kenapa kena tanya?

Kau ada nampak tak aku tanya kau pasal anak kau?

Kenapa kena compare?

Ada tak aku tanya anak kau puasa penuh? Anak kau solat sunat tak tetiap hari? Anak kau start puasa masa berapa tahun? Anak kau prihatin tak pasal isu-isu semasa masyarakat? Ada ke aku tanya anak kau tau tak cemana susah nak cari RM10 yang dia senang-senang boleh buang macam tu je kat Coolblog?

Please.

Straight A's does not promise a bright future. Opens doors, yes. But never an indicator to a better life. It is what the kids do to make themselves better people that would determine their success in life. I have straight A's friends whose lives are just as miserable as those yang tak ada A's. Ada je yang tak de A hidup just as happy as those of straight A's.

Ada je yang sekolah MRSM la konon yang sekarang hidup menipu orang.

Ada je yang drop out dari sekolah harian biasa yang hidup kaya raya siap sedekah merata senyap-senyap.

So why compare?

It is just a piece of paper.

Please, lah. I am tired of being diplomatic. It is our rights to remain silent.

I tak tanya, so you don't ask.