My Wishlist...

Milly, a friend whom I know back in those days in college, did up a wish list of all the things that she would want to do and have while she's still alive.

She managed to stir up my thoughts on things that I would want to do before I kick the bucket myself. But somehow rather, some of them need me to have a stable income before I can even think and write them all down.

As you may know by now, I will again hit the rat race after 6 months of leisure. The idea of being financially independent again, even though this time the bring home cheque will be significantly lesser than what I last drawn, actually gives me hope that I will be able to achieve some if not all of my material wishes.

So here goes.

1. Take up fencing.
2. Maintain the daily walk or at least climb up Melawati hill every weekend.
3. Have my name printed on a book.
4. Try squash.
5. A 1.0 carat diamond platinum ring.
6. Be free of debts.
7. Not the least, be a better muslimah in whatever way possible.

I think that would suffice for now.

:)

And The Day Came...

As I was sitting in that room, I was in disbelief. In my hands were two copies of an offer letter, complete with my name and address.

They looked so crisp and immaculate. Too perfect to be true. I waited almost 6 months to be in this position, yet I am overwhelmed by fear and  uncertainty. Fear of how I would bring myself; uncertain if this is what I really want despite my reasonings to myself.

Would I be able to handle serious work? Would I be able to live a life without events and fun stuff? Would I be able to be me again?

Questions upon questions came to my mind as I sat there in that room. Would I be able to deliver? Would I meet the expectations? Would I be technical enough to understand the processes?

But I do know that this is a blessing from Him. One way of telling me that there's always light at the end of the tunnel and that I can always make it through the rain. Only that I will have to be strong and patient and put in a lot of prayers.

I guess that's the answer to all my questions - pray and do my best. I hope I make it through..

Cucu Atok...

I know ayah must be very touched when this happened.


One evening, Schera went into the kitchen of her grandparents' home and tried to fix herself a plate of rice.

Right then, her atok walked in. She asked her atok if he wanted to eat with her.

Atok said yes.

Seeing that rice in the pot was only enough for one, Schera scooped every single grain into a plate, and put it in front of her atok who was seated at the table.

'Schera tak makan?', asked her atok.

'Atok makan la dulu', she replied with a smile.

Baffled, atok peeked into the rice pot and saw an empty one.

When he told me what his granddaughter did, he was beaming. He was proud to say that his not yet 6 years old granddaughter had sacrificed for him.

I don't know what I did to deserve a beautiful child in my life.

When I lost Siti Ainin Sofya some 11 years ago, I never thought that He would replace her with a more beautiful child. He took away a child so pure, but He replaced with a child with much love in her.

I pray that she grows to spread love and gets back as much.

I Love You... I Sayang You

I had this interesting chat this afternoon - the topic evolved around the difference between love and sayang.

If someone says 'I love you', do you think it differs much to 'I sayang you'?

In more ways than one, we will usually say it's not the same. It's the connotation it brings when we say 'I love you' that makes us warm and fuzzy inside as opposed to the straightforward, unemotional 'I sayang you'.

Being the forever unsatiated arguer that I am, I looked up the definition of sayang and cinta from the Dewan Bahasa dan Pustaka website.

And I found (and I have abrreviated the explanation, of course):

Sayang: fond, like, having affection.
Cinta: love

I guess that explains. The warm and fuzzy feeling is not around when we shout out 'I like you' or 'I'm fond of you' or 'I have affections for you' as contrary to 'I LOVE YOU!'

Which makes me wonder. Why do we call the ones we love - boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives as Sayang? Shouldn't we be calling out Cinta, instead? But that would be funny, wouldn't it?

*winks*

:)