Quite frankly, I never knew that men can't take rejection.
When I was growing up, I rejected one or two (or three or four) when I was in a relationship. But I guess those didn't count. They weren't men. They were boys.
And for the longest time, I got myself into one relationship that halted my lessons on men. I have no idea that rejection from women really hurt men. Especially men with big egos.
Until one day.
I did not realize that I had twisted a man by his arm, and used his own words against him. And severed his ego, badly...
And time and time again, I become that dumb bimbo who forgot what disgusting creature that I must have turned myself into in his eyes.
But I think I'm OK and I will survive regardless.
Afterall, it probably take courage to do what I did - twist a man by his arm.
:D
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Cinta Agung
It was a sad news.
The whole family perished in a car accident. The car was wrecked and burnt until nothing of it was left. Including the 6 - husband, wife, and 4 kids aged between 11 and 2. They were on the way home from a vacation.
I try to put myself in their situation. Knowing those moments would be the last that you'll ever have with the children. Knowing that the next day, you are just history and memories, nothing more than pictures kept in drawers and shoeboxes.
It must be painful, but it may also be a relief knowing that the children will not grow up missing the love of their parents.
I don't know. I can never imagine.
But reading that news also got me thinking, there must be such thing as love made in heaven. The kind of love that binds a man and a woman, so strong that they would die with each other. Not for, but with.
Cinta agung, a wise friend calls it.
That same friend asked me once if cinta agung would still exist on this earth till she dies.
I told her it still would, only it may never hit neither she nor me.
Which reminds me of a man whose wife succumbed to the cruelty of the big C. She was his first love from the moment he laid eyes on her. She became the pivotal point in his life, everything about him was around her. When they got to know of her illness, it was too late to do anything. But her breath was his life. For the few years that she beared the pain, were the years that he too was hurt silently. When she could no longer get up from her bed, it was him who bathed her, fed her, changed her. He made her beautiful for their small children to remember how the mother looked like when she was alive. Even at the point when she was weak, she was his strength. She was his everything.
The night that she left in her sleep was the night the world fell upon him. The children were still small, his life was gone. He had no strength to move on, not even for himself. When she died, he died too... soul, life and love.
*sigh*
Cinta agung? Maybe it was.
But I don't want to be the one dying.
:|
The whole family perished in a car accident. The car was wrecked and burnt until nothing of it was left. Including the 6 - husband, wife, and 4 kids aged between 11 and 2. They were on the way home from a vacation.
I try to put myself in their situation. Knowing those moments would be the last that you'll ever have with the children. Knowing that the next day, you are just history and memories, nothing more than pictures kept in drawers and shoeboxes.
It must be painful, but it may also be a relief knowing that the children will not grow up missing the love of their parents.
I don't know. I can never imagine.
But reading that news also got me thinking, there must be such thing as love made in heaven. The kind of love that binds a man and a woman, so strong that they would die with each other. Not for, but with.
Cinta agung, a wise friend calls it.
That same friend asked me once if cinta agung would still exist on this earth till she dies.
I told her it still would, only it may never hit neither she nor me.
Which reminds me of a man whose wife succumbed to the cruelty of the big C. She was his first love from the moment he laid eyes on her. She became the pivotal point in his life, everything about him was around her. When they got to know of her illness, it was too late to do anything. But her breath was his life. For the few years that she beared the pain, were the years that he too was hurt silently. When she could no longer get up from her bed, it was him who bathed her, fed her, changed her. He made her beautiful for their small children to remember how the mother looked like when she was alive. Even at the point when she was weak, she was his strength. She was his everything.
The night that she left in her sleep was the night the world fell upon him. The children were still small, his life was gone. He had no strength to move on, not even for himself. When she died, he died too... soul, life and love.
*sigh*
Cinta agung? Maybe it was.
But I don't want to be the one dying.
:|
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Me & Sleep
Me and sleep are actually quite synonymous.
You can't find me sitting down doing nothing and not find me asleep. Anything that requires me to sit still and use my visual and hearing ability will have me asleep in less than 20. That's why you'd always see me on the go. Moving about doing absolutely almost everything.
Ironically, I can stay awake the most part of a drive being the co-pilot. Note: co-pilot. If I was the passenger, I'd take the opportunity to cat-nap the moment the gear hit D. :)
So, no surprise that now that I am jobless, I'd be asleep most of the time if I were at home. Sleep is the most priceless commodity for me since I was growing up. Better reak it while it lasts.
:D
You can't find me sitting down doing nothing and not find me asleep. Anything that requires me to sit still and use my visual and hearing ability will have me asleep in less than 20. That's why you'd always see me on the go. Moving about doing absolutely almost everything.
Ironically, I can stay awake the most part of a drive being the co-pilot. Note: co-pilot. If I was the passenger, I'd take the opportunity to cat-nap the moment the gear hit D. :)
So, no surprise that now that I am jobless, I'd be asleep most of the time if I were at home. Sleep is the most priceless commodity for me since I was growing up. Better reak it while it lasts.
:D
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